Dear One’s of St. C’s, 

2020 has been a year of serious losses and stressors.  I hope that you are finding ways to lament with others and with God.  To honor all that you have lost this year, to cry, to find the words for your sadness.  Whenever I hear of more bad news on top of the global pandemic, the economic downturn, and the excessive racism and sexism our country faces, I think no God, this will have to wait until next year. 

But it doesn’t wait, does it? Death, illness, divorce, pain, and suffering it does not wait.  Many of us have experienced hardship on top of hardship during this time.

There is an exercise that I often encourage others to do, but I must admit I had never done myself.  To re-write a psalm to fit your own personal situations.  Our Bible is filled with beautiful, heartbreaking psalms of lament.  In a culture that wants us to get over things, the psalms can be a balm to the soul for those who mourn.  If you are feeling at a loss for your personal situation or for the state of the world I encourage to read through the psalms and find one to re-write for your own feelings about the world.  I have finally decided to take my own advice and have found it cathartic to re-write Psalm 13 below.

Revision of Psalm 13: A Psalm of Lament 

How long, O Lord? Will my heart long for peace forever?  

                       How long will we wait for the world to be healed?

                            How long must I bear pain in my soul,     

              and have sorrow in my heart? How long shall evil be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!     

                        Give light to my enemy’s yes, or I will give up hope,

and my enemy will say, “I have prevailed”;     

                                my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

But I trusted in your steadfast love;     

                                 my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,     

                                    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Just as the Letter to the Philippians has taught us we can rejoice and lament in the same breath.  That is what this week has been like for me.  As some of you know, I lost a dear childhood friend this week.  And as I lament, I am also filled with joy for our life together.  My gratitude for his life equals my loss that he is no longer with us.  I imagine this dance to go on in my heart for many, many days to come.  Grief is not a one time event, but neither is our gratitude.  They both rise up in our hearts and then go out into the world.  My prayer is that we could allow space for grief and gratitude for ourselves and one another. 

Be gentle with yourself and others.  God is near, and he longs to be with us in all our joys, sorrows, and faults.  Know dear ones, that you are loved today, right where you are, just as you are.

with care, 

Meghan