Dear One's of St. C's, 

I happen to be reading the book, “Rage Becomes Her” by Soraya Chemaly.  The book is focused on women’s anger, but I have been thinking about it a lot in the context of the murder of George Floyd and the riots that have followed.  Chemaly says, “In the coming years, we will hear, again, that anger is a destructive force, to be controlled. Watch carefully, because not everyone is asked to do this in equal measure.”  In her book she talks about how anger is a catalyst for change.  When people are angry and express their anger they are needing something different out of situation.  Now isn’t it interesting that the people who are most rewarded for being angry are white men?  I fear that this is not a coincidence and did not happen by accident.  

What is one of the ruling classes biggest fear?  That the people under them will be angry and demand change.  Chemaly also says, “Anger is a signal that something is wrong. We would not be here, we wouldn't be alive if we didn't have this emotion. Because it's the warning that we are facing a risk or a threat.”

Something is wrong in our country.  Something is wrong with the air we are forced to breath everyday.  We failed George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and countless other black lives. 

In a 1967 speech by Martin Luther King at Stanford University, he said:

“Certain conditions continue to exist in our society, which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality and humanity. And so in a real sense our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention.”

I wish this quote from Martin Luther King from the sixties no longer fit in today’s context.  But as a nation we continue to fail to hear.  That white police officer, Derek Chauvin, could not hear the voice of George Floyd.  When I first saw headlines for this story, my initial response was, “this cannot be true.”  It haunts me that I needed a video to believe it.  My response is the direct impact of breathing the air of this country and how it has taught me to respond when a black person experiences racism, this air has taught me to question the black experience. And I repent of my response to God. 

This story is true.  This happened.  Derek Chauvin, a white police officer, suffocated George Floyd in broad daylight in front of other people with no remorse on his face for no reason.  

Anger is the only response.  And if your anger has never been welcomed in a place of power in your country - where are you supposed to express it? I am not condoning the riots, but I understand them.  The anger of the protestors is justified. Our country has rarely given African Americans a place to put their anger to allow real structural change to happen. 

I read an article that talked about the problem of people saying, “violence never works.”  Did violence work when the Native Americans on this land were pushed away or killed? Did violence work when white people bought black people to run their plantations? 

I would answer, it worked for the ruling class to get what they thought they wanted, which was power and control.  But of course it did not truly work because those people who committed that violence paid an enormous price on their souls and every person breathing in this country is paying that price everyday.  It did not work, but unfortunately it worked to build the very structure that allowed George Floyd to be killed and for Derek Chauvin to go home that night and sleep in his own bed. 

I long to live in a world where all lives matter.   Where we see the image of God imprinted on all those we meet.   I long to do away with a ruling class and hierarchies that pin us over and against each other.   I long for new air to breathe.  I long for breathing to be the right of all humans. 

Today I am going to begin with anger.  I am going to let my own anger at my initial response change me.  I am going to let the anger of all those who protest and loot change me and question what I am failing to hear.  When a person of color expresses anger to me, instead of trying to convince them otherwise, I am going to believe them and then I am going to join them in their anger and try to use that anger as a catalyst to change.  I hope you will join me. 

with hope for change, 

Meghan